EPISODE 1: OVER COFFEE


I woke up in the middle of the night in some MAD SWEATS...like face wet, legs hot as can be....the post nightmare type of sweats. 

and I didn't really know why. I laid there for awhile attempting to calm myself back down but I was all worked up for some reason. I have never had a lot of anxiety. But recently, I have just been worrying. 

I am going to try and break this down, my thoughts, but it may make NO sense whatsoever. 

I AM LOST. I AM SCARED AND I AM OVERWHELMED. Overwhelmed that I just finished the first semester of junior year of college and I don't really know what I want to do in life. Overwhelmed that I have many unopened emails and voicemails. Overwhelmed that there are other aspects of life that need attention like friends, family and relationships. Side Note: Overwhelmed that I have a lost UPS package and finding someone to talk to on the phone is nothing less than a miracle. 

Sometimes the issue with Instagram and social media, is that it all looks so "perfect." It all looks so effortless and magazine ready but it totally 100% isn't. It totally 100% isn't all coffee dates and blue jeans with perfectly picked flowers on the side. It totally 100% isn't photoshoots daily, avocado toast posts and bedtime at 9:00 pm with a cup of tea and hot man next to you. It's messy and loud and busy as heck. It's noisy. 

NOISY. 

and everyday, I'm still trying to figure it out. I wake up and look myself in my slightly dirty mirror and say I'VE GOT THIS...whether I do or not. 

Cancel the Noise. You've got this. 

XX-E 

#OnALivingSpree